1 Chronicles 26:20-32; 1 Chronicles 27; 1 Corinthians 4; Proverbs 19:13-22 NIV

He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done. – Proverbs 19:17

Several weeks ago, I was challenged about my attitude toward the poor.  Now, I’m not saying I had any ill feelings toward them.  In fact, I thought I was pretty compassionate – enlightened even – about the plight of the poor.  I didn’t do the things that “less compassionate” people do.  I tried to do what I was supposed to.

When I saw a homeless person, I reminded myself that he/she was a person, a child of God and someone with a unique story.  I always made a point to look him/her in the eye because I had read somewhere that one of the most dehumanizing experiences people endure is watching others avoid eye contact.  I even made a point to let them know that I would gladly give them some money, but I didn’t have any cash.

But here’s the thing:  The reason I never had cash is because I never got cash.  And I didn’t have any food or water to give them because I didn’t bring it from home.  Let me be clear, it’s not as if these people just popped up at the intersection by surprise.  Almost every day of the week, I drive past the same people at the same intersection.  I know they’re going to be there.

So, one day as I was driving past that intersection, I really felt challenged.  ”Why not go to the ATM and get cash specifically for this purpose?”  And that’s just what I did.  I went to the ATM later that day and withdrew $40.  I reasoned that I could keep cash in my car that would be set aside for whenever I saw a panhandler or someone in need.  Of course, I would need to stop somewhere and get some change for my two twenty dollar bills.  Of course, that was the part I forgot.

I forgot until the next morning.  As I was approaching the regular panhandler hangout, I realized that the smallest bill I had was a twenty.  That’s when the real challenge came upon me.  ”If there is someone there,” I asked myself, “what is the wise decision?  Do I give this person a $20 bill, or do I just pretend I don’t have any cash and go on my way?”

Well, I know it’s become cliché, but in that moment, I actually asked myself what Jesus would do.  As much as I tried, I couldn’t convince myself that Jesus would lie about not having any cash.  I also couldn’t convince myself that Jesus would try to explain to the panhandler that he needed change.  So, then and there, as I approached the intersection, I resolved to give up my $20 bill.  It was the right thing to do.

As I got closer and closer to the intersection, I strained to see around the moving truck in front of me.  I crossed my fingers, just hoping that for one day, there would be nobody in the intersection.  I really didn’t want to give up my twenty!  But, again, I resolved to do it.  I even said it out loud!  ”God, if there is someone standing there, even if the light is green, I won’t use any excuses.  I’ll give them this $20 bill.”

To my surprise, when I arrived at the intersection, who was there?  No one.  Not a single person.  This spot that constantly has 2 or 3 people asking for money, washing windshields or selling flowers, was completely empty on this nice sunny morning.

As I passed through the intersection, I thought about those people, though.  I probably thought about them more that morning than any before or since.  I thought about what it would have meant to one of them if they had received $20.  I wondered why I had gone through this entire conversation with myself and God just to find nobody there.  But most of all, I wondered how it was that I could be experiencing the “joy of giving” without having given anything.

Basically, it felt good to know that I would have given – to know that my heart and mind were prepared to do it.  I think God allowed me to feel that, so that the next time, I wouldn’t hesitate.  And, from that point forward, I haven’t hesitated.  I did, however, get change because I can’t afford to give away $20 bills every day!  I got change and kept it in my car.  Then, every time I saw someone in need, I gave them cash.  Eventually, it wasn’t a challenge or even a “feel-good” thing to do anymore.  It was simply normal.

My normal-ness continued (through several ATM trips) until yesterday.  Yesterday, I gave away my last few dollars and didn’t go to the ATM to get more.  Then, once last night and twice today, I passed panhandlers and I had nothing to give.  For the first one, my wife and I gathered all the change we could find.  For the others, I had nothing.  I didn’t have the tools I needed to be normal – to care for the poor.

I don’t like that feeling.  I want to be kind to the poor.  I want to be giving.  I want to be loving.  I want to, in the words of Proverbs “lend to the Lord”.  I think that’s a pretty safe investment.  And I guess it means I need to go to the ATM tomorrow!